2019 Chevy Blazer lets us recall its poor discontinued sibling, the Oldsmobile Bravada

The Chevy Blazer is again. It is totally different than earlier than, however given it is beforehand been a full-size truck-based two-door convertible SUV and a compact truck-based four-door absolutely roofed SUV, let’s cool it on any complaints that it is grow to be a crossover. Selection has all the time been in its blood (and that is not even mentioning the TrailBlazer, be it this one or this greater one or this different one from yonder).

I, for one, nevertheless, am not happy that the Blazer has returned. I by no means preferred the Blazer, wasn’t for me. Neither was its GMC Jimmy brother, for I all the time thought GMC James had a a lot better ring to it. Nope, it was all in regards to the Oldsmobile Bravada.

Right here is my extraordinarily flimsy rationale for this: First, I believed the Bravada was the best-looking of the bunch. OK, kind of. That assertion applies to its authentic boxy iteration (1991-1994) and particularly its rounder second iteration (1996-1997), however positively not the horrid third iteration (1998-2001) that tried and failed to use the Aurora-esque new Oldsmobile badge to a truck that simply wasn’t meant for it. I positively do not imply this factor despite the fact that it was the one member of its authentic household to hold its title to the all-new GMT360 platform.

Second, the ’96 and ’97 got here with a ground shifter. A ground shifter! The others would not get these till later, so it was technologically extra superior.

Third, and extra personally, the unique Bravada was unique forbidden American fruit for this Canadian lad, as mixed “Chev-Olds” sellers in Ontario meant there was no want to supply a number of GMT330 SUVs to placate sellers. With each sighting of a road-tripping Michigander or New Yorker, I need to’ve certainly declared, “Oooooh, it is an Oldsmobile truck. Cool!” No James, it wasn’t, however it did have one thing referred to as “SmartTrack.” I do know that as a result of it stated so on the tailgate.

After I moved to Indianapolis in 1996, that rounder model was in all places. It should’ve been a great way for a city-dwelling Hoosier to display his or her extra refined style in comparison with the Blazer- and Jimmy-driving rural plenty. This may be completed by the Jeep Grand Cherokee Restricted and Orvis, in addition to the Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer and the fancy-pants monochrome Explorer Restricted (ideally in purple). In the event you received a Mercury Mountaineer, you had been only a weirdo. I type of dug that, too.

Fourth, Kenny Bania was a spokesman for it. (I suppose as a result of David Puddy and Mr. Peterman had been busy hawking stuff elsewhere?)

Effectively, could possibly be worse. The 1991 Bravada’s spokesperson was Joan Hemingway, the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway and the less-famous sister of Margeaux and Mariel. Rattling Oldsmobile, you actually pulled out the heavy hitters. It is a shock the model was discontinued with such movie star clout.

Maybe it ought to’ve turned to rapper and lean again fanatic Fats Joe who referenced the Bravada in his tune “What’s Luv” f/ Ashanti. I imply, he was in all probability saying one thing else, however it positive as hell seems like he is saying “moist on the hood of your Bravada.” The Chevy Blazer was by no means honored as such, so there.

Man, I’ve actually fallen down a rabbit gap right here. In all probability finest to stop now whereas I nonetheless have time to climb again out. So yeah, poor Bravada.

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